Transform your crappy day :)
I struggle with occasional bouts of binge eating. I love food and eating it and at times seem unable, or unwilling, to control myself. These periods leave me feeling absolutely terrible on all levels. Usually it’s junk food that I’m binging, so it leaves me feeling extra gross. On these days I tend to skip my yoga practice, so I’m sedentary to top it all off. Movement, I know, would mitigate a lot of this. In fact, just showing up for the practice would likely lead me down a different path, but I guess there’s no way of knowing what would have been.
The challenge
It’s easy for me to have strong feelings towards myself when my physical vessel feels like this. I feel greasy, weighed down, stiff. I feel disappointed in my choices. It leaves me questioning my worth and ability to accomplish my goals. I can’t even control my appetite, how do I control my life?
Acknowledge your challenge
Now that I’ve seen this, what do I do about it? The easy choice is to keep doing more of the same, and to keep growing the feelings of self-loathing. That’s certainly what the self-loathing wants. Eckhart Tolle calls this the painbody. It’s reactive and loves attention. My experience with this is familiar and acute. I have been a victim of my emotions, and I don’t wish to go back there.
There is a simple question to ask yourself during these times.
Is this how I want to feel?
The answer will determine your next steps.
If you find value in the feeling, linger within it and explore. Learn the lesson and repeat it to yourself. If you have gained the insight that you need, you’re probably ready to move on. How do you want to feel? What is the gap that you need to close? Sometimes the answer is as simple as taking some deep breaths and having a big glass of water. Get out of your head and into your body.
Be gentle but firm with yourself. We all have boundaries that need to be set, and the ones we set for ourselves are often the most important ones. They speak to our relationship with the self, arguably our most important relationship of all. It’s the the foundation sets up everything else. Ask yourself what kind of feedback you respond well to, and use that to lead yourself.
For me, in this situation, my answer is that I very adamantly DO NOT want to feel physically gross while loathing myself. My lesson from this feeling: A little bit of effort put into taking care of myself has a huge impact on my state of being, and vice-versa. I do not need to be perfect, but I do need to strive for balance.
Greet your challenge with a smile :)
If you acknowledge your habits as “bad”, and you hate yourself for them, how likely are you to stop? Not likely at all. Your shame will only bury you further in more shame. Focus on the positive outcome you want to achieve and greet the unpleasant present as a guidepost. “I am here now, but I do not have to be” is a good acknowledgment of the present you wish to change. All moments have value if you open yourself to them, some just show us where we don’t want to be. Use them as fuel. Not this, but this. The key is be active and intentional, rather than passive and reactive.
My binge eating surfaces in times where I lack clear direction for my energy. Overconsumption is a huge problem in so many areas of modern life, it is easy to forget that most of the time, we don’t actually “need” anything. There is that constant compulsive itch of “what next?” that has grown out of our obsessive overstimulation. What is needed is balance.
Taking intentional action
My best antidote for overconsumption is to create. Instead of consuming, make something. It can be anything, but just put energy outwards instead of drawing it in. When I woke up feeling so gross this morning, I spent some time examining myself and my behaviour. I found the lesson and wrote it down. Then, I chose to create something — I’m writing this article so that I can share the lesson of my experience.
I feel 100% better than when I first woke up. Channeling my energy constructively means it’s not just churning around inside of me. It’s all about intention. Moving through challenge with curiosity instead of self-loathing can flip your whole mindset.
Concluding…
We all have moments of struggle, but they don’t need to define us. Take a moment to reflect the next time that you find yourself in a place where you don’t want to be. Ask yourself how you want to feel and what small action can help you close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. A deep breath, a walk, writing about it — whatever it is, you’ll discover that often the decision to make an effort for yourself is enough.
