Fuelling Your Motivation: Strategies to help you find the strength to keep going
I think it’s fair to say that most of us will struggle to keep up our motivation at one time or another. Whether our goals are big or small, there will be moments where life throws a whole lot at you and it may feel impossible, or even pointless, to persevere through it. This moment can be incredibly transformative if we choose to push through rather than giving up. Developing grit and resilience will serve you in every area of your life, but how do you do that? It’s easier said than done, as it requires us to embrace discomfort, and most people are incredibly resistant to this. Comfort = safety, but it doesn’t lead to growth. It also doesn’t bring a sense of accomplishment, which I believe is something we crave and need to keep our motivation alive. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you keep it up.
Set incremental goals
It is essential to break a big goal up into smaller steps. This way you have a sense of progression along with a way forward. Even if your goal is simple, there should be clear steps for you to follow that clarify the actions of the goal. For example, if my goal is to do the front splits, I may start by setting up a daily stretching routine. Then, I add milestones. Maybe for this goal, it’s a weekly progress check to see how close or far away I am. This is enough, because it’s given me checkpoints to use as guidance rather than just the finish line. You can be very granular if you need to here — it really depends on what you’re trying to accomplish. If you feel very overwhelmed by what you need to do, then being more granular is a great way to make the whole thing manageable and achievable.
Keep track of your accomplishments
It’s easy to lose motivation when it feels like you’re not getting anywhere. This is why having micro-goals or steps is so important. If you can see your progress from where you started, you’re more likely to keep going simply because you’ll know that your effort is making a difference. If you never acknowledge your progress, you may not realise it’s there. It sounds simplistic, but it’s the truth. We like to deny our progress because, for some reason, we seem to believe that perfection is the only true success. So if I’m not perfect in this thing, then I’m rubbish at it. It’s traguc how caught up most of us are in this dichotomy. Try to see it for what it is: self-defeating. If your measure of success is literally unattainable, then you will fail 100% of the time. Remember where you started, be honest about where you are now, and be realistic about where you want to be.
Take yourself seriously, but not too seriously
There is a fine balance to be found here. We need to view ourselves as worthy of what we want to achieve, but also stay humble in our approach. Being able to smile and laugh at yourself will open you up to growth by giving you permission to make mistakes along the way. That is actually how we grow — through our failed attempts. Be serious about your objectives, be disciplined with your efforts, but be lighthearted in your execution. Try to have fun if you can, even if it’s tough. Sometimes that’s the best reason to smile. I know that when I’m struggling through a Yoga practice that I underestimated, and I’m sweating and trembling and feeling like a limp noodle, having a laugh at the state I’m in can really take the pressure out of the situation. It’s not always going to be easy, but as Glennon Doyle says, we can do hard things.
Embrace your inner coach / drill sergeant / grandma
This is something I’ve heard that Navy Seals do — using inner personas to get through incredibly trying conditions. The idea is to cultivate three personas that motivate you in different ways, depending on what you need in the moment. In your moment of strife, ask yourself whose support you need. Do you need tough love, or do you need a caring hug? Here is a guideline if you’re not sure which it is: If you’re feeling sorry for yourself, you need your drill sergeant. If you’re struggling with pressure, you need your grandma. If you’re unsure about whether it’s working or if you’re doing it right, you need your coach. Your drill sergeant is there to humble you by reminding you that no ground is gained without effort. Your grandma is there to nurture you with kindness and compassion, reminding you that being overly critical will only hinder your progress. Your coach is there to encourage you to keep going, because progress is gradual and not always so obvious.
Re-evaluate your goals regularly
Sometimes, as we travel a path, we realise that it’s not right for us. It’s important to be able to recognise when that’s the case so that you don’t end up chasing something that ultimately doesn’t serve or work for you. As we grow, we discover that we need different solutions than we did before. Be curious about your own journey and don’t be afraid to change your goals if they don’t feel right for you anymore.
Final tip; ie. the crux: Deep vs shallow motivations
If you’ve had the same goal for a long time and you’re struggling to make progress, it may be time to evaluate your motivations. Are you doing this for yourself, or for the way you want people to perceive you? When the root of your goal is something beyond your control, you’re going to fail simply because what you’re chasing is not something you can reach. When your ego is motivating you, you’re usually acting from a place of fear (of judgement). The truth is that we judge ourselves the most harshly, and though you may think that how others judge you matters, it’s actually your own opinion of yourself that you end up carrying with you. It may start as an external nugget, but we easily internalise criticism to the point where it’s not helpful, becoming a source of pain and shame. Anchor the motivation for your goals to something that is true and meaningful to you, and forget about the approval of others in this pursuit. Only your perception matters here, as you are the one who has to do the work and who will ultimately reap the benefits of your effort. A shallow motivation will lead to a shallow result. When your motivations are deeply aligned with your development as a human being, you will find that you need less effort to keep going because what you’re doing will feel right and meaningful to you. Your success is based on your effort, not on the opinion of others.
Concluding… (TL;DR)
Our motivation is a type of energy that needs to be managed, in the same way we are required to manage our other needs. It requires the proper fuel to function properly. When we are overly critical of ourselves and set unrealistic expectations, there is a guaranteed failure somewhere down the line simply because we expect it of ourselves. When you find the right motivation — as in, when you start acting in a way because any other way doesn’t align with what you know is right for yourself — it will pretty much come naturally. I’m not saying you’ll never have to work to maintain it, but when you set intentions from a place of love, for yourself or others, that’s when you’ll really start to see results. Life-changing results.
